31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 6

When you hear the phrase Domestic Violence, what imagery does your mind bring forward?  Is it of a woman’s bruised face?  Maybe you can picture a man screaming at his wife or girlfriend.  If you are a woman who has been a victim of physical violence, you probably envision a man doing bodily harm to a woman.  All of these portrayals are valid.  All of them represent the physical brutality that we have come to know – either by depiction on television or in the movies or even in our own lives.

However, there is another viewpoint.  It’s not one that I can readily connect with because I’m not familiar with it.  And for that reason, my blog is very one-sided because it is taken from my own perspective and my own life.  I do not intentionally post things to dismiss the other angle, which is a very real part of the Domestic Violence epidemic.  As a woman, there is a shame that hovers over us that is part of what keeps us from stepping forward and admitting our circumstance.  That shame is tenfold for a man because human nature has taught us that a (good) man is the head of the family…the protector of the family.  And especially because this topic is almost never covered on the news or anywhere else, we can’t fathom that it’s true or that the man involved couldn’t just get up and walk away because…well, he’s  a man.

FACT: Male victims of emotional abuse may experience partners that:

  • Yell and scream
  • Threaten them and try to induce fear
  • Insult and demean them; tell them they are not worth the trouble
  • Socially isolate them
  • Lie or withhold information
  • Treat them like a child or servant
  • Control all the finances

When Women Emotionally Abuse Men

  • Some believe that men are more sensitive to emotional abuse than a woman and can “brush off” physical abuse more easily.
  • Male victims of emotional abuse who are called a “coward,” “impotent,” or a “failure,” may be more affected by these remarks than their female counterparts.

Some people may scoff at Domestic Violence being perpetrated against men, however, just as there is for women a large umbrella under which there are numerous types of abuse, it is the same for a man.  It’s not always physical.  There is verbal and emotional abuse towards men as well as sexual assault.  Just because violence against men is not the normal visual doesn’t mean it is non-existent.


Fact Source:  Suffer In Silence


To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.


3 thoughts on “31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 6

  1. Growing up with a verbally abusive father, I was determined not to be the same as my father. Ironically, it wasn’t until the end of my 16-year marriage that I realized I had gone so far the other way that I had allowed myself to become the victim of a verbally abusive and controlling wife. Controlled the finances, major decisions, sex, etc. With that newfound awareness and understanding, I was able to aboid that same mistake for myself and my children— and found the amazing woman I have been married to for six years now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ned, I read a comment you had posted on another blog about your childhood and your mom. A terribly sad situation and in spite of it and your first marriage you have managed to learn from those experiences. That’s all anyone can ask. If you learn from a situation and move forward doing better for yourself and those around you then it was worth the lesson.

      Thank you for sharing this information. A lot of people hear about abuse toward a man and first think of a woman beating him down and laugh it off thinking it’s inconceivable. There are so many other things to consider when speaking of DV.

      After all the years of suffering under my husband, I can easily be considered the abuser against my husband because now I constantly call him names, etc. The sad part of it is that when I walk away people with think…poor guy, his wife left him. They’ll never know the torment that drove me to that point.

      I’m glad you were able to find true happiness without compromise. I trust I will be able to do the same.

      Liked by 1 person

      • As you said, it’s all about acknowledging and learning from mistakes. True happiness isn’t the result of dumb luck but stems from an awareness and understanding of what happiness means to you — and not allowing yourself to compromise yourself or your happiness for someone else. When the right person comes into your life, they intrinsically understand your meaning of happiness and love because they already recognize it in themselves.

        That said, without question you will find happiness because you’ve taken the steps to point yourself in the right direction.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s