31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 14

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Codependency and Marriage

Emotional codependence is when a person believes they need someone else to feel happy and good about themselves and to ‘cheer them up’ and help overcome their negative emotions. This person may also feel responsible for other people’s negative feelings.

It’s wonderful to be loved and appreciated. However, Codependency and Marriage are a disastrous mix. Needing someone’s love and approval to feel good about yourself and/or feeling responsible every time your partner feels angry or upset, will soon make married life a tough chore.

A healthy person must sometimes make decisions other family members don’t like and still be able to get on with their own life. Making tough decisions like this, with courage, may cause hostility and resentment short term, but long term this will earn people’s love, trust and respect. However this will be very tough for someone with patterns of emotional codependence (codependency). A codependent will have a hard time sticking to anything (including their own values) that causes their partner to be angry or unhappy with them. When it comes to raising children, this same inability may cause serious problems with discipline and healthy role modeling in the codependent’s home.

Narcissism and Marriage

Narcissism and Marriage are an even worse mix. People with Narcissistic tendencies won’t appreciate the way their codependent spouse may go about getting his or her emotional needs met. In love with the idea of being loved and adored, If they see that their marriage partner is unhappy, a narcissist will seek love and approval outside the marriage and start treating other people better than their spouse. The narcissist will let nothing stand in the way of finding their next adoring fan. They will lie, cheat and steal if need be, while blaming all of their current problems and dissatisfaction on their spouse’s unhappiness, with little or no thought for their partner’s feelings or whether what they are blaming on them is just.

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Fact Source:  Medline Plus

Fact Source:  Narcissism Cured

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

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5 thoughts on “31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 14

  1. I think that there is a co-dependent living in me but rest assured I’m not unhealthy – f.e. I hear other people’s thought and after 27 years I’m totally OK with those who aren’t even interested in my thoughts and only respond by diagnosing me ill. Quote: don’t bottle everything up inside or you’ll burst one day ; doesn’t apply to me because I talk about hearing other people’s thought. “Woo to them who hear but not speak , for they’ll realize one day that it was all on them selves because no-one ever forced them to remain silent…. ”
    About 15% of a crowd speak about that which 85% hides in their thoughts…. (proven by research) so 1 billion talk and are stigmatized by others in accordance with local ruling dogma’s.
    ……. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH , RUTH !!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unfortunately, I know all too well what it is like to be used by a narcissist…. but mine was a woman, I thought at the time was my best friend. She knew exactly what to say at the right time to lift me up. When I would mention the fact that she was receiving all the accolades for the work I had done she just dismissed me, and said she deserved the notoriety because I had already made my mark on the world. I am a registered nurse and Licensed social worker, and worked very hard for my companies. She never went to college and did not have a degree, but she seemed intelligent in many areas.. I am a “fixer”and I stayed in this “friendship” for way too many years.. she was extremely toxic for me and I ended up spending a lot of time in therapy trying to deal with the feelings that she provoked in me. I take the blame, as well, though because I was told many times by my therapist to walk away. Due to my co-dependency issues, I just could not seem to be able to “walk away”, at the time. Eight years later, when I was at my wit’s end with her, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital, and then, and only then, did I decide to take a hard look at what I had allowed this woman to do to me. I changed EVERYTHING about myself, and what I believed in, and put her before my husband and daughter, and MY OWN NEEDS.. It had gone too far, and when I took that retrospective look, I became ANGRY with myself, and with her. So much so, I have cut her loose, and not seen or spoken to her in over two years.. I wish I could have taken that look faster, but I learned a lot from that ordeal, even if it was the hard way. ALWAYS STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF, AND YOUR FAMILY AND VALUES, BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry my response is so late. Thank you for sharing. Dealing with a narcissist is not as easy to be aware of as one would think. Sometimes it take a long time to realize how manipulative a person can be. We are taught to see good in others, that is not meant that we should also close ourselves off to seeing their bad side. Hope you are well.

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  3. Pingback: 31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 14 | hippygurl61's Blog

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