6 things you should NEVER say to a domestic abuse survivor

Avalanche of the soul

As many as one in three women will suffer physical or other form of abuse in her lifetime. Lots suffer in silence. Those who speak out run a gauntlet of often well-meaning but profoundly ill-informed remarks, that can leave us groping for the right words to respond. Here’s how I answer the most common comments.

1. “Are you sure it’s abuse?”

It’s abuse. I’m constantly tiptoeing around him, yet somehow everything I do is wrong in his eyes. I’m afraid. I’m not the person I was. I sometimes wonder if I’m going crazy. Worst of all, I can’t see a future for me beyond this. And the fear of not being believed by people like you is one of the (many) things that make it so much harder to escape.

2. “I’d never have thought he’d be capable of that. He seems so nice!”

He’s a regular, model citizen isn’t…

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