Help Guide

This has to be the best thing I’ve come across since I started this journey. If you are going through or have been through an abusive relationship, you should really take a moment and read this:

Check out the HELP GUIDE

This is only a snippet:

Violent and abusive behavior is the abuser’s choice.

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his or her behavior. In fact, abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you.

Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.

Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you’re worthless and that no one else will want you, you’re less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.

Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.

Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don’t obey, there will be violent consequences.

Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.

This is truly some of the most accurate information I’ve seen out there.


2 thoughts on “Help Guide

  1. need some advice. this has happened before…but not in along time.
    At the sink doing dishes my husband grabs my nipples and shakes them…I said, ” do you mind, cant you be more gentle? How would you like it if I did that to yours? He walks off as if its nothing.Comes back in a few minutes and yanks down my PJs as if he a child doing some prank….he doesnt hit me, verbally abuse me…but he does things like this…Ive talked to him and expressed that it doesnt make me interested in sex with him but turns me off…
    Im not sure if Im making to much out of this or Im just starting to see whats really going on. And Im more healed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Honestly, your describing situations that have happened to me with my husband. That’s him in his loving, flirty mood. I’ts obnoxious and whether they’re our husband’s or not they’re violating our space. When they are pulling idiotic stunts like that they clearly have no concern about your feelings. Doesn’t matter if it turns you on or not. Actions like those are immature and just shows they don’t know how to be “normally” physical with their wives in a romantic sense.


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