Archive | March 2014

Liebster Award

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I should make mention now … I’m not really known to be a rule follower.  I mean, of course, laws are a different story.  I don’t go around breaking the law but for some reason when I’m told to do something a specific way … I kind of … don’t.  Not really purposely.  And not all the time.  But if I notice a way that a certain task is done and I’m not really into doing it that way, I just … adjust it.  The desired outcome is usually the same it’s just that the road taken was altered.  Only slightly.

That being said…

To my surprise, I have been thrice nominated for the Liebster Award.  Three wonderful women felt that I was deserving of such and I truly appreciate their kindness.  I would like to thank Stronger Soul Survivor, Sunshine and morganfeese23 for the honor.  Please be sure to visit their blogs.

Rules for accepting the award:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.

2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.

3. Nominate 11 other blogs with less than 500 followers.

4. Post 11 questions for your nominees to answer.

5. Tag your nominees and post a comment on their blog to let them know you nominated them.

Being that I was nominated by three people and there were slight variations of similar questions between them, I kind of picked which 11 questions I liked the most and those are the ones I will be answering.

Liebster Q & A:

1.  Describe your personality in three words.  Well, this is not as easy as I thought when I picked it.  I guess I’d have to say my personality is that of humor, straightforwardness and determination.  Whether others appreciate that about me or not is the question!  Sheesh, it’s hard to describe yourself without sounding like you are tooting your own horn.  I mean who would actually say they’re lazy, ignorant and selfish anyway?

2.  In your opinion, what is the best thing about you?  I would say the best thing about me is that I am loyal.  If I like you.  Which, if I deal with you at all then I like you.  If you’re not my cup of tea then you’re lucky you get a hello.

3.  What would you say is the biggest passion in your life?  I think I have a few actually.  Whichever is taking up my most concentration at any giving time is the passion du jour.  So, today my biggest passion is writing.  It has been since about the 10th grade.  I still have stories that I wrote in English class, filled with the same humor and sarcasm that you’ve been blessed with reading here. 

4.  Name one person who has made a significant impact on your life.  The one person who has made a significant impact on my life is definitely my friend “R” who I met in the 3rd grade.  After high school graduation we didn’t see or speak to each other for 20 years.  Once we reconnected our friendship became closer and stronger then either one of us ever imagined it would.  His outlook on life and the way he carries himself as a human being has impacted me most. I drive him completely crazy but he always gives me the time of day.  Plus, he has talked me off the ledge on numerous occasions, for that I am eternally grateful.

5.  Who do you write for?  Hmm.  Initially, I guess, I wrote just for writing.  Over the years, I realized my writing came directly from intense emotions I was feeling at that moment – love, hate, happiness, etc.  Making the change over from stories and poems to blogging was for me and me alone.  My diary.  I still write for me and it still comes from an emotional place but now I also write for you.

6.  What is the motivating factor for you to blog?  I’d say the motivating factor, at this time (6 months in) is pretty much to hold myself accountable.  I’ve come too far to shut up now.  So no matter what it may be that I am posting, it’s out of necessity to keep myself on point.  Does that make sense?

7.  What have you learned about yourself from blogging?  Hellooo…that I’m totally awesome!! Just kidding – I knew that way before blogging was invented! Lol.  Seriously though, I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I was.  And that I’m not alone.  I mean, I knew I wasn’t the only one this was happening to but the fact that SO MANY women are writing about it totally blows my mind.  It sucks that this is even a topic but the fact that it’s not only me makes me feel….fearless.

8.  What do you think is the best thing about blogging?  The best thing about blogging is that we can be totally anonymous yet still get to know each other on a completely personal level.  The fact that no one – we know – is judging us allows a certain comfort in being completely honest.  It’s made the process of telling – my secrets – that much easier.

9.  How many revisions does it take before you finally publish?  I love this question.  Only because I don’t really revise and barely reread before I hit publish.  At the most, I just look over what I am saying as I’m typing it.  Which can be attested to by the latest friend who I’ve let read my blog.  She was sending me typos along the way, which was totally awesome because at this point, when I go back and reread posts here and there if I notice something and don’t revise it then and there…well…your friends become your editors. 🙂

10.  If the internet went down would you still continue to write?  Most definitely.  I wrote before there was an internet and I will after it is a distant memory.  Most of the poetry I write is done with pen and paper anyway.  I am an aggressive writer and when it is pouring out I need to feel the power of my thoughts moving through my hand.  (Side Note: Add aggressive to the list of personality description. None of my friends would argue that!)

11.  What type of blogs do you follow?  Mostly, I follow anything that makes me laugh, think, even cry.  If I am following you, it’s because your words have moved me in some sort of way.  The bulk of them probably being blogs of survival, empowerment, poetry and the hysterical stories of your life.

My 11 Nominees for this prestigious Liebster Award are:

1.  The Frog’s Tale

2.  Traces of the Soul

3.  Married to an Alcoholic

4.  Ramblings of a Single, White, Fat, Middle Aged Chick

5.  Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

6.  A Victim’s Journal

7.  The Mirror Obscura

8.  Rethinking Life

9.  Vidablogg

10.  Never Quite Broken

11.  Barbara C Rowe Author

Thank you all for your contribution to WordPress.  As noted above, you have either made me laugh, made me cry or made me think.  I may not always have something to say (to my surprise) but I pay attention.  You are all awesome and deserve way more.

Please reuse the 11 questions listed above and remember…follow the rules!

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Finally…

Well, well, well…after all these years someone FINALLY called the police.  Amazing.

I’m slightly stunned actually.  I mean in all the arguing and commotion I did scream out about how no one in all these years has ever called the cops.  No one has ever come to my rescue.  No one has ever tried to help me.  So, I figure it had to be my next door neighbor that called because he’s the only one who would have heard all of that.

Here’s the beauty of it.  The cops were called on me.  I was the one who lost it and threatened everything from bodily harm to burning the house down.  Pretty much on everyone who lives here.  What for?  All of this because of a donut.  My daughter went and bought donuts and HE asked for a specific kind.  She came home with the wrong one.  Of course, he throws a complete five year old crybaby fit, minus the laying on the floor kicking and flailing his arms.  With the sound of his noise for minor things over the last few days this was just one straw too much on my back.  I broke.

Ran upstairs and what started as “out loud” sarcasm – basically me saying OMG what is wrong with you how could you possibly get the wrong donut – turned into my daughter taking it out of context and as a personal attack.  So she started mouthing back at me, which at this moment was obviously not the best decision.  This turned into a snowball effect and I was literally shoved down the mountain.  I can pretty much barely talk because I was screaming at the top of my lungs.  Then HE came upstairs to yell at her and I tried to explain to him that it was MY conversation and he should not be coming up and involving himself.  Then he snapped at me.  Screaming at me for screaming at him.  Still screaming at her for getting the wrong donut.  Then on top of it my son comes upstairs and starts yelling at my husband to leave me alone.  So pretty much now it is a full on yelling match.

However, my screaming is far more overpowering and because I am threatening the existence of everyone in sight they’re all trying to get me calm.  I start ripping my room apart, packing up a box that I’ve had saved on the side for that exact thing.  While still yelling how I am not going to be feeding anyone today so they all better figure out how to survive.  How I am sick and tired of having sacrificed my entire existence for them and not one of them gives a shit about me.  How if I hear anyone open their mouth one more time I would burn the house down with everyone in it.  Yeah, I went there.  I said much more and far worse.

And then…knock knock knock.  The cops arrive.  Two female cops.  He’s telling me what to say to them – how they must have been called on my neighbor because he is constantly smoking pot, etc.  I did say that, but as a closing.  My opening was…yeah, we were arguing but everything is fine.  They asked if either of us wanted to file a complaint, we both said no.  They asked if there were any guns in the house, we said no.  And that was that.  They left.

I kind of feel weird about it.  Maybe because the one time cops were called is the one time I wasn’t being beaten?  I kind of feel betrayed.  Almost like, because I’m the one yelling and threatening you call the cops on ME???  Are you fucking kidding me?  Wait until I see this clown next door.  He will have to call the cops again.  So now I’m sitting here kind of wishing this asshole had been hitting me and hard enough to bruise quickly so that this would have been the time for me to act.  So I could have said yes, he hit me, yes there are guns, yes there are knives….take him!!  And as quickly as they would have taken him out I would have run upstairs like a tornado and got all my shit together and ran.

Bad news…that wasn’t the case and he is still here.  Eating the wrong donut.  Good news is…one box of my clothes is packed.  And now…I want a damn donut!!

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To read from the beginning… my story starts here.